Shitposts Weekly (2018/09/22)

Medium articles neither rare nor well-done for the week ending 22 September 2018.

If the Point of Capitalism is to Escape Capitalism, Then What’s the Point of Capitalism?: An asshole lets rip an excessively long, wet fart about capitalism. The asshole poses a ridiculously stupid question and then tries to answer it.

The 3 Keys to Becoming Irresistible: A professional shitposter shits out a post about attraction. This is a lightweight self-help booklet, and like most in its genre there’s a nugget of truth buried in a mountain of platitudes.

21 Quotes That (If Applied) Change You Into a Better Person: A writer publishes a listicle. From the slug in the URL, it’s pretty obvious it was originally intended to support toxic masculinity. Sources include such luminaries as the racist Laura Ingalls Wilder and the colossally shitty colonialist asshole Winston Churchill. Perhaps you should be more selective in whom you choose to quote.

An A-Z of useful Python tricks: A programmer shares some knowledge. Some of these tidbits include examples, but others do not. You can’t just throw out a Python module and call it a day; you have to explain why we should use that particular module over alternatives. And the example for ‘f’ is for Python 2.x. Why the fuck did you do that?

Confessions of a 40-Year-Old Mega-Nerd”: A nerd feels weird about being a nerd. There’s nothing particularly interesting about this shitpost, however; this is just what happens when you’re raised under the (mistaken) impression that grown-ups aren’t allowed to have fun.

How I Escaped from Prison: An inmate discovers yoga. Absolutely nothing of substance is discussed.

Rare articles which are well-done.

Your Childhood Memories Are Probably Fake: A journalist explores memory.

Cutting Through the Haze: A journalist looks at cannabidiol and the hype surrounding the supposed wonder-drug. There are two things I care about regarding marijuana: providing evidence-based medicine and destroying stoner culture.

The Case for the Nightcap: A professional shitposter writes about the occasional evening tipple.

The Case for Playing Fortnite with Your Kids: A writer points out that family time doesn’t have to be an outing to the zoo or a natural history museum; it can be playing video games together.

Indigenous Peoples Are Decolonizing Virtual Worlds: A journalist looks at how the indigenous peoples of the Americas and the Pacific are producing games free of the taint of colonialism.

Inside the Far-Out World of Dream Therapy: A journalist looks at dream therapy, an evidence-based take on dream interpretation.

How to Escape While Standing Still: A journalist talks about daydreaming.

Your Climate Change Survival Plan: A journalist talks about climate change survival. I find the feeling of inevitability involved in this shitpost deeply disturbing.

The 5 Best Places to Live in 2100: Another journalist talks about climate change survival. This is probably more practical than the one above, given the current state of technology. I sure hope you can stand Canada, though.

Why People Refuse to Evacuate: A journalist looks at what the science has to say about people too stubborn to evacuate when told.

What Kids Need to Learn to Succeed in 2050: A historian has opinions on what skills kids will need to have in order to succeed in 32 years. They may even be right, but the sad reality is that modern pedagogy in America is deeply fucked between elementary school and graduation from high school.

I’m a Heart Doctor. Here’s Why I’m Wary of the New Apple Watch: A doctor expresses a very healthy skepticism of the latest Big Tech attempt to medicalize consumer technology.

The Scientific Case for Eating Bread: A journalist looks at bread. As an aside, pop nutrition is a hotbed of lies, misinformation, and junk science, and this journalist is attempting to correct some of it.

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