Shitposts Weekly (2018/07/21)

Medium articles neither rare nor well-done for the week ending 21 July 2018.

Learn React.js in 5 minutes: A webshit purports to teach others how to shit webshit using a non-government mass surveillance platform’s UI webshit. Apparently, the UI webshit’s tutorials are insufficient.

It doesn’t fucking matter: A professional failure passes an excessively long wet fart about stupid entrepreneurial questions asked by wannabe professional failures.

How I went from newbie to Software Engineer in 9 months while working full time: A mostly self-taught webshit talks about how he became a webshit while holding a job that has more value to society.

11 Things I Wish I Knew When I Started My Business: Another professional failure passes an excessively long wet fart, only this one discusses shit she feels she should’ve known about before she became a professional failure. As she, herself, points out, she wouldn’t have listened.

How raising a $2+M Seed Round really, actually went: A professional failure sells her soul to Silicon Valley in order to start a business which is a slap in the face to most of Silicon Valley’s residents. She documents the nightmare process of doing so.

Growth Engineering at Netflix — Accelerating Innovation: A webshit at Netflix writes copy about the technology in their signup process.

React component patterns: Another webshit purports to educate other webshits about the same non-government mass surveillance platform’s UI webshit’s core feature.

Understanding, creating[,] and subscribing to observables in Angular: A webshit shits a webshit lesson about a different UI webshit.

Content Strategy for Startups: The Complete Guide: A rentier talks about her job enabling other rentiers to be more efficient at rentiership.

If You’re Doing Content Marketing: Do You Want Vanity Or Do You Want Exposure?: A professional Quora shitposter writes about how to shitpost correctly. Yes, there’s a correct way to shitpost. I’m as surprised as you are.

How I growth hacked my bot for 10x better user acquisition: An ad tech bro talks about his participation in the ruination of computing, through his contributions to the non-government mass surveillance platform previously discussed.

The Philosophical Argument for Working Less: A self-help newspaper curator whose money comes from ads thinks we should spend more time on leisure activities. He’s not wrong, but philosophy doesn’t work in corporate hellscapes. Maybe he should revisit this topic from a scientific viewpoint, however.

Sex Robots Could Save Your Relationship: A futurist spins a yarn about the future of human romance now that we have sex bots and gay marriage. I don’t think she heard about the abuse actual sex bots were exposed to when they were put on public display.

Rare articles which are well-done.

The unofficial (slightly sarcastic) thesaurus for business buzzwords: A copywriter gives 110% on his core competency at moving the needle to empower the avoidance of drinking the Kool-Aid. More simply, he explains shitty buzzwords in the hopes that people will stop using them.

Why is Python so slow?: A pythonista explores a common complaint among people who don’t understand what they’re talking about.

This Is How Normal Life Feels as a Psychopath: A psychopath attempts to educate people about a mental disorder Hollywood and the media has thoroughly stigmatized.

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