Shitposts Weekly (2018/08/25)

Medium articles neither rare nor well-done for the week ending 25 August 2018.

The Purpose Of Life Is Not Happiness: It’s Usefulness: A professional shitposter rips a philosophical shart after (re?)discovering transcendentalism. This shart is to real philosophy what homeopathy is to real medicine; there may be something of note in here, but there’s no telling what it is and it’s probably more harmful than helpful.

(Deliberate) practice makes perfect: how to become an expert in anything: A webshit channels Captain Obvious and a self-help booklet simultaneously while passing an incredibly gusty shart.

Do Americans Understand They’re Beginning to Commit The Legal Definition of Genocide?: An asshole conflates the people of a nation with the government of that nation in order to shit on Western civilization again. Never mind that only 18% of Americans support the fat controller. Never mind that the fat controller lost the popular vote. (Content advisory: the Great Southern Racist is the leading image for this hot take of a shitpost.)

Make your code easier to read with Functional Programming: A webshit thinks he’s talking about non-webshit, but instead shits webshit. He’d be more convincing if he were writing Elixir, Erlang, Haskell, any Lisp dialect…

In Defense of Not Saving the World: A self-help booklet wants to take back a self-help book he wrote. Long story short: the hero business requires a work/life balance, just like your day job does. Short story long: this shitpost.

How to Stick to Your Fitness Habits the Easy Way, According to Science: A personal trainer read a psychology paper and thinks he can apply its conclusions. I wonder if he bothered to talk to a psychologist about it, though, because jargon can fly thick and fast in scholarly articles, and sometimes it can resemble everyday language (see, for instance, the difference between the plebes’ “theory” and the scientist’s “theory”). More than that, what the analysis he cites really said is “more research needed”.

How I Learned to Run Away From My Problems and Like It: A neoliberal tells a story about how she picked up a hobby. Remember all those platitudes about work/life balance and self-care? Yeah. They’re not platitudes.

Please Don’t Move to Our Beautiful Mountain Town: A small-towner complains about city slickers shitting up the community. (Psst. You need people moving in if you want your small town to survive, because the kids usually end up moving out and not coming back.)

Rare articles which are well-done.

How to Break Bad Habits by Simulating Rock Bottom: A therapist offers free advice about addiction recovery.

How to Use the Psychology of Space to Boost Your Creativity: An architect offers advice on how to encourage creativity through simple and not-so-simple steps that anyone can implement.

Screen Time Is Changing Our Brain Circuitry: A psychologist reports on how computers are impacting our brains and the wiring thereof.

Facial Recognition Is the Perfect Tool for Oppression: A double-professor suggests we ban the creation and use of facial recognition technologies rather than try to limit its use. I couldn’t agree more.

When Working in Virtual Reality Makes You Sick: A journalist suggests that scientists investigate the effects of prolonged exposure to virtual reality on human health.

Everything You Know About Muscle Cramps Is Wrong: A journalist explores muscle cramps, with some advice on what does and doesn’t work.

Three, separate, accounts on traveling as a person of colour.

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