Shitposts Weekly (2018/08/11)

Medium articles neither rare nor well-done for the week ending 11 August 2018.

Here’s an unpopular opinion: We’re lucky Mark Zuckerberg is in charge: A corporate shill apologises for a corporate mass surveillance platform. We’re meant to take Zuckerberg’s April testimony seriously even though the platform’s entire business model is exploitation of human psychology to monetize bigotry and controversy.

How to communicate between Components: A webshit rips a lengthy shart on webshit. I wonder why he’s not giving this shart to the developers of the webshit.

I created the exact same app in React and Vue. Here are the differences.: A webshit compares a webshit sandwich to a webshart shake. Neither appeals.

(Why) The Future is a Choice Between Two Socialisms: A college student fresh out of Economics 101 compares authoritarianism to the oligarchical version of the same shit, and has this bizarre notion that socialism has a “bad” version. Given that the whole point of socialism is to make the government work for the 99% rather than the elites that keep fucking everything up…

Gwyneth, Ivanka, and the End of the Effortless White Woman: An idiot praises two wealthy idiots, one of whom shills for dangerous products and pseudoscience. We’re supposed to believe that these idiots represent an ideal for women to aspire to be. Both these idiots were born in to wealth, and nobody should be listening to them or this idiot shilling for them.

It’s Boom Time for Death Cults: Three different approaches to death and dying are discussed. One is sensible, another is understandable, but the third is a group of idiots who’d join the Death Eaters if magic were real… and they seem determined to make technology stand in its place.

Jesus, Mary, and Joe Jonas: Evangelism is alive and well in the tinsel hellscape, to the surprise only of idiots who think it can’t possibly have douchebags.

A New Device Can Hear Your Thoughts: A self-described journo learns that we can read electrical impulses from the brain by learning about an MIT student who has trained his brain-scanner to do mundane tasks.

The $124,421 Man: After six years, poor life choices were finally expunged from a man’s record. I refer, of course, to the choice of a private university over a public one.

Want To Be Happier? How to Take Charge of Your Thoughts: A self-help booklet explains cognitive behavioural therapy badly. Take the time to see a therapist; you may not actually need CBT to resolve your inner quandaries, or you may need a different approach.

The Complete Guide to Understanding and Dealing With Online Trolls: A self-help booklet lets rip an obnoxiously long, wet fart about handling trolls. Long story short: shut them down early and eject them. Short story long: this shitpost. You may also want to, if your trolls are egregious enough, make friends with the local PD in order to avoid being SWATted.

Imaginary Problems Are the Root of Bad Software: A webshit complains about shitty contractors. I don’t know why this article talks about programming. The core problem is almost entirely about shitty people overpromising and underdelivering, a perennial sign of a broken organization led by people who don’t understand their product, don’t care about their product, and only exist to fuck everything up for the people who are actually working on the product.

The Real Cost of Phone Addiction: A self-help booklet complains about the abuse of human psychology by tech companies who don’t give a shit about the long-term consequences. The vast majority of this post could be generalised as “How to Set Realistic Goals And Achieve Them”.

Rare articles which are well-done.

How Car Insurance Slams the Poor: A writer complains about car insurance and how its legally-mandated costs affect the poor.

How to Use Psychology to Solve the Procrastination Puzzle: A psychology professor talks about procrastination.

How to Fall Asleep in 120 Seconds: A writer tells all about that irritating ability some people have of sleeping wherever they are.

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