Shitposts Weekly (2018/12/1)

Medium articles neither rare nor well-done for the week ending 01 December 2018.

An introduction to Git merge and rebase: what they are, and how to use them: A developer explains two important git functions. The developer explains git rebase badly, however. rebase rewrites history, but the person issuing the command can assert how it is to be rewritten; you can merge commits, you can drop them, and you can even reword or reorder them.

8 Timeless Skills to Learn Now in Under 8 Hours to Change your Life Forever: A chronic overachiever incorrects everyone about skill development, repeatedly. Very, very few people are able to pick any skills up in anywhere remotely resembling the time you seem to think they can, sir.

Conditional JavaScript for Experts: A webshit shits webshit about conditional expressions, particularly the ternary operator. If you consider yourself a programmer and you didn’t know about this shit before you came across this shitpost, find a new line of work.

NodeJS: In Three(ish) Minutes.: A webshit shits webshit about node.js, the leading example of why it’s bad to let web developers anywhere near the server.

These 5 “clean code” tips will dramatically improve your productivity: A webshit with homonym problems tries to talk about clean code. Tip #4 is complete dogshit; don’t catch exceptions at all unless they’re relevant to the function’s purpose. Doing anything else summons the Old Ones, who are quite happy to make a home in your codebase. Seriously, don’t.

A Brief History of Power Couples: A writer lets rip a long, wet fart about power couples, and claims that Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are an example. Jared’s such a stupid little fuck that he cut and run the weekend before a set of indictments went down because he feared he’d be one of them, in the process branding himself a flight risk who should be detained before disclosure should he become the subject of one.

Rare articles which are well-done.

Meet the Serial-Killer Whisperer: A journalist writes about a criminologist who studies missing-person cases and serial killers.

Your Brain Is Wired to Suck the Joy Out of Good News: A journalist writes about the transitory nature of positive emotion and a strategy for prolonging the effects thereof.

A Guide to Overcoming FOBO, the Fear of Better Options: A writer looks at the handling of choices, specifically the ‘all choices are of similar quality’ problem (and the related option overload).

Full-stack developers, unicorns and other mythological beings: A webshit takes a look at full-stack developers, rightly concluding that they can’t exist now that software development seems to have become the world’s largest septic tank.

If You’re Online, You’re Getting Scammed: A writer looks at some online scams. (Protip: Antivirus software is one of the ones not warned against here. Stick to Windows Defender.)

Amazon’s Smart Doorbell Is Creepy as Hell: Speaking of online scams, don’t get tricked in to joining the massive corporate surveillance network. You must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer, the little death that brings total obliteration. You should face your fear, and permit it to pass over and through you. And, when it has gone past, you will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only you will remain. (These surveillance gimmicks rely on your fear to sell you on them.)

The Battle for Amazon HQ2 Was a Con: A professor of con artistry marketing speaks truth to power about the not-actually-women-warriors megacorp-in-training’s secondary headquarters scam.

A Brief History of the Power Suit: A professional shitposter with dreams of being the next e e cummings writes about the history of courtly dress.

Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s ‘Apeshit’ Was a Subtle History Lesson in Race and Power: A historian takes a look at a music video and its commentary on white European culture.

We Don’t Need More Coders: Oh, praise and glory unto thee, O writer willing to buck the trend of journalists supporting the tech industry’s relentless hunt for wage-slaves.

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